Adventures in Shadowside


That is not dead which can eternal lie, and with strange aeons even death may die.


I decided I wanted to start trying to write out my dreams, possibly because of an offhand remark that I read in an Order of Nine Angles MSS about the work and significance of H.P. Lovecraft. I could be misremembering but there was a passage that I recall where they mentioned H.P. Lovecraft's attemps to write out his own dreams and said that due to his own lack of control over them, they weren't particularly useful for any kind of esoteric or occult purposes. Lately I've been trying to read a book about lucid dreaming, but for now the more useful item was a video from Religion for Breakfast, one of my favorites, on the subject of dreams and religion. One of the points I took from it is that dreams which are deemed religiously significant are always socially negotiated and tend to follow certain criteria, and that "stickier" dreams are often those that tend to become significant in any given religious community with an emphasis placed on the navigation of dreams. I doubt any of my dreams will ever be that socially significant but I consider it a tantalizing exercise to start trying to write my own down, for no particular purpose other than forcing myself to commit to a little bit of writing every day. I don't plan to date any of them because at some point I might want to try to write down dreams that I remember from a long time ago.

The first one that I remember explicitly was that I dreamt I was in some kind of film, it felt like a parody of Dune and I believe the title of it was Duke, it felt like it was a mockumentary style movie about a character like Paul Atreides going around Space Africa uniting three different groups of people for some kind of trek through the dessert. I feel like one group of people looked like Tibetan Buddhist monks but it's hard to remember. At some point I was at some kind of college party, the building looked like the one where I regularly go to Bible Study. In a later dream before I woke up again it was the middle of winter, snow was everywhere, I was at school, maybe an elementary school I went to when I was younger, and I was walking through a big grass field to try to get away from my mother. She was going to scold me over something. I woke up as I was trying to climb a fence and having difficulties because of how heavy my boots felt, I think they were going to get the police to chase me for something. Later I remember I was trying to escape some kind of authorities again, I was in a very fast boat and people were getting angry at me because I was driving the boat through groups of children trying to swim. Before that, I was in an argument with the King and someone who looked like one of his officiaries. I was trying to escape a punishment of flogging after I had already signed a paper admitting my guilt. I was frustrated because I managed to find out that although we are equally subjects of the crown, the laws seemed to apply differently to myself and I said it was "because the King said so." At the top of a building that looked like the Estrild Library I saw Dr. C with someone else at the bottom. Up there I complained that I could have anyone against me, but it would ruin my career if the Hegel Society of America was against me in any way. If it feels like I'm going backwards in time it's because it's a little easier to back rather than start at the beginning. I remember there were some kind of giant robots that were going to go down to where I complained there was an entire lower level of the building that was overgrown with plants and other things. I shot some kind of monster for them in what looked like a giant theater, similar to the theater in a game called The Suffering: Ties That Bind. Eventually all of the various offices I called coalesced into some kind of Galactic governmental force that went out to neutralize enemies amongst the Galaxy. They were so compact that it looked more like I was looking at a map of data than anything else, as they fought it looked like a visualization of the cells of the body fighting and encircling foreign bodies and neutralizing them. The armies were starting to get frustrated because they started to feel more and more useless. The last thing I remember was someone trying to talk to me on instant messaging and I was ignoring their messages. They had the profile picture of some kind of humanoid robot. One of my favorite things that happens in my dreams is when I get to try to speak in French, but somehow, not everyone understands me when I try. Figures of my dreams rarely if ever try to speak French with me unfortunately. I remember one dream I had, probably a few months ago, where my mom had a different husband (or perhaps the same but with hair) and he was able to speak with me in French and even sounded like a native speaker.


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