The camera watched when I banged that dotz, I didn't check my surroundings.
I never left that block till I found him, dip man down make him lie in blood like shit bro I think you're drowning.
Less depressed this month. Still drinking myself into oblivion. I don't know how to describe that I've been reading quite a lot and quite a little at the same time. Most of the books I'm attempting to read at the moment I've yet to finish. At this precise minute, I'm in the process of trying to finish Reza Negarestani's Cyclonopedia: Complicity with Anonymous Materials, which I consider a worthy successor to the legacy of the CCRU. Luckily, my familiarity with the works of the CCRU is starting to come in handy but it's yet to really cross pollinate with everything I've been reading in Cyclonopedia, for now it's merely both surprising and interesting to see the Cross of Akht represented in the form of a Numogram. I've yet to reread it but I'm about to read the section entitled Incomplete Burning, Pyrodemonism, and NAPALM-Obsession, which relates to an earlier section when they were describing the pyrodemonism of the US war machine, saying that it was uniquely obsessed with burning, going so far as to quote a certain Colonel West who once remarked, I'll go to hell with a can of gasoline in my hand.
Pyrodemonism is a rather apt way to describe a certain occult trajectory I've been studying on and off for a number of months. As one can glean from my writings in Liber 808 (which I think I want to rename Liber 909 since it's more thematically appropriate), I'm particularly disturbed and fascinated by the works and history of the Tempel ov Blood, whose legacy is currently being contested by a number of small fringe groups. Some of these attempted successors are: The Satanic Front, Nexion 435 and The Cult of Abhartach. All three of these are fascinating in their own ways but recently I've been encountering more and more works of the Satanic Front, specifically the second edition of their Handbook and a few other works that can easily be found by simply typing "Satanic Front" into the Internet Archive. One aspect of them that I find particularly fascinating is their open hostility to the occult currents of the Order of Nine Angles, which is in stark contrast to the Tempel ov Blood itself, whose writings are littered with references to the parent order. But, both the Tempel ov Blood and the Satanic Front have been resolutely denounced by the Order of Nine Angles themselves through their various news outlets. As far as I know, only the Satanic Front has any kind of working relationship with Agony's Point Press, which is the pet project of one of the founders of the Tempel ov Blood who was later revealed to be an FBI informant. It's a particularly strange thing to pay attention to but I can't help but keep up with the development of these organizations, which as of now appear to be mostly relegated to self-publishing their literature. More than likely, my interest stems from a sentence I came across in Liber 333 that I felt particularly implicated by, You shall become as we state. Our black hands of undeath are upon you now even as you read these words. You shall become that predator, that sinister beast of prey.
But, they'd ever imagine me attempting to utilize the works of Deleuze and Guattari for my own becoming-sinister.
To finally get to my point, I think the relationship between pyrodemonism and the Satanic Front specifically is that, from what I've gleaned from their works, there's a particular attachment to the US war machine and its attendant geopolitical objectives, as well as a palpable pride and libidinal investment in the US itself. Thus, the Satanic Front is not only a continuation of the logic of US pyrodemonism, but is its furthest conclusion, where the worship of Satan aligns itself with Tellurian insurgency, towards a grand flattening and burning immanence with the sun, the X pole of the Gog-Magog Axis to the Y pole of radical Jihadist practices in the Middle East.
Other than all of that, I've recently taken it upon myself to read more works from the metamodern trajectory. I started with Metamodernism: Or, the Cultural Logic of Cultural Logics by Brenden Dempsey. After that, I read Building the Cathedral: Answering the Meaning Crisis through Presonal Myth by Sadie Moon. As far as I remember from Dempsey, he essentially treats metamodernism as the cultural logic of cultural logics
meaning that after postmodern philosophy as it was espoused by Western universities deconstructed everything under the sun and reduced every disciplinary object (Art, Religion, Philosophy, etc.) to little more than rubble, new theoretical tools eventually became necessary and these tools would be inherently reconstructive. This reconstructive project is metamodernism, which views postmodernism, modernism, and the pre-modern as distinct cultural logics with their own attendant ontologies, metaphysics, theologies, etc. (or their destruction) and that metamodernism, from its own unique vantage point, has reached a certain level of recursive self-reflexivity that's able to toggle and navigate between these wildly different stances and approaches to the world, and that this persistent toggling along with recursive self-reflexivity is the metamodern worldview itself. At a certain level, I resonate quite a bit with the metamodern project as well as its attempts to recover the affects of sincerity and kindness, even going so far as to treat these as political principles that I'll be able to unpack with a couple different works of specifically metamodern political philosophy. But, perhaps due to some bizarre contamination, whether metaphysical at the level of my soul, or merely intellectual from reading too much Bataille and Althusser, I've begun to wonder whether or not sincerity and kindness are enough for a coherent political movement. Thus, I've taken it upon myself to explore the affects of evil, cruelty, and excess. The radical contaminant that every political movement internalizes as it seeks to expel. As Bataille himself says,
Without a profound complicity with natural forces such as violent death, gushing blood, sudden catastrophes and the horrible cries of pain that accompany them, terrifying ruptures of what had seemed to be immutable, the fall into sticking filth of what had been elevated—without a sadistic understanding of an incontestably thundering and torrential nature, there could be no revolutionaries, there could only be a revolting utopian sentimentality.
I think my willingness to explore these affects is what marks my interest in things like the Tempel ov Blood or the Satanic Front or the Cult of Abhartach, but at the same time due to my interest in both metamodernism and my wounded relationship with Marxism, I see them as exploring sinister affects in a blind vacuum outside of a materialist understanding of the realities (and exploitativeness) of social production and reproduction, and I think due to my recent interest in Anti-Oedipus I'm starting to become more attentive to the mechanisms of the desire of evil and transgression. Thus, I've locked myself into the position of the ultimate Outsider, foreign to the utilitarian ontological machines of political movements, and the black spiritual vectors of the most extreme varieties of Left-Hand Path occultism. My only home is my own bleak immanence. As a final meditation on this subject, I leave you with a paragraph from the Interview with Chairman Gonzalo that I think has the distinct register of Bataille whether Comrade Gonzalo knows it or not,
In the face of reactionary military actions and the use of mesnadas, we responded with a devastating action: Lucanamarca. Neither they nor we have forgotten it, to be sure, because they got an answer that they didn't imagine possible. More than 80 were annihilated, that is the truth. And we say openly that there were excesses, as was analyzed in 1983. [...] The excesses are the negative aspect. [...] In war, the masses engaged in combat can go too far and express all their hatred, the deep feelings of class hatred, repudiation and condemnation that they have—that was the root of it. This has been explained by Lenin very clearly. Excesses can be committed. The problem is to go to a certain point and not beyond it, because if you go past that point you go off course. It's like an angle; it can be opened up to a certain point and no further. If we were to give the masses a lot of restrictions, requirements and prohibitions, it would mean that deep down we didn't want the waters to overflow. And what we needed was for the waters to overflow, to let the flood rage, because we know that when a river floods its banks it causes devastation, but then it returns to its riverbed.
Other than that, I've been struggling with a couple books in French, right now I'm attempting to read L'anti-Œdipe as well as La Phénoménologie de l’Esprit, but that one's going much slower. My French is good enough for me to watch YouTube videos and understand the vast majority of what I'm watching, and I find works of philosophy strangely easier to read than the novels that I've attempted in the past. I have a whole plethora of French books that I want to read that I've organized into an unofficial collection that I call The Doleful Quartet which will consist of my readings of L'anti-Œdipe, La Part maudite, Économie Libidinale and L'échange symbolique et la mort. As far as less serious things are concerned, I've been having a great time watching a lot of YouTube in French on various subjects from RPGs, the history of video game consoles, serial killers, and cheating in competitive video games as well as other subjects. Thankfully, one of the YouTubers I found is a woman from Quebec who does mostly true crime videos so as I watch her videos I'm able to better familiarize myself with the Québécois accent. I'm currently in the process of watching a 4 hour retrospective on the entire Mass Effect trilogy. Anti-Oedipus has been bothering me because I'm 200 pages in and I still have no idea what a connective, conjunctive, or disjunctive synthesis is supposed to do, or how one is to engage in the practice of schizoanalysis. I'm hoping this will become more clear when I read the book in English.